Half of Me
by Spacefille
Summary: Doctor 10.5 tries to adjust to his new life with Rose, and finds it difficult. That is, until alternate dimension Donna shows up. And then the Eleventh Doctor does too…
1. All that Remains

**Half of Me**

**Summary**: Doctor 10.5 tries to adjust to his new life with Rose, and finds it difficult. That is, until alternate dimension Donna shows up. And then the Eleventh Doctor does too…

**Author's Note**: Despite reading every single Harry Potter book and watching five seasons of the new Doctor Who I still don't know how to write English the way Donna Noble and Rose Tyler speak it and even, to an extent, how the Doctor speaks it. So if they end up saying things that sound Canadian/American or say things that British people just wouldn't say (or sounds awkward), I apologize. I need an English native for a beta, to tell all truth. But I don't have one so you are stuck with me. :)

Also Ten point Five has all of Ten's memories up to Metacrisis. Blame it on the regeneration energy.

**Date Written**: November 2010 for Nanowrimo and completely forgotten about (like most of my Nano novels). This will be approximately 10 chapters long.

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**All that Remains**

.

After that last and final exchange the trip back to London was awkward and full of grief. He didn't know who was mourning more, Rose or him, and it was quite possible they were miserable together.

It had only just started to sink in the magnitude of what had happened to him. Him, being the halfling that now sat beside Rose in the car. For a fleeting moment he was glad his memory was corroded, and that only the more recent chunks of his life as the Doctor remained, his memories of his childhood days fading into the background. The human/Timelord brain could only hold so much, it appeared, to go with the human body. Then the thought of being less than he once was weighed on him oppressively. He shouldn't so easily be able to forget his children, even if they had been born many, many centuries before.

He should be happy, he thought. He always had secretly and not so secretly craved companionship, a way to stop his nomad ways, to settle down with someone he loved and live the rest of his life with them. He loved Rose. He loved her more than words could say. He would do anything to see her smile and just the thought of her being in pain hurt him as well. When he lost her… that had hurt so, so much, almost more than everyone he had lost before combined. Curse his stupid brain to go and fall in love with a decaying human.

… a decaying human that he now was as well.

When it came time to put Rose back in her own dimension, to seal off the wounds of inter space and time, he saw his opportunity and went for it. She wanted him… maybe, definitely not HIM, but him, whole and complete. Even though he was no longer whole and complete, he couldn't help himself. Here was all he ever wanted. So he whispered those words to her heart and she opened up to let him in… and for a moment he knew bliss.

And then reality kicked right back in.

He flinched to himself and glanced over to where she was looking gloomily out the window. Carefully he took her hand in his and gave it a little squeeze. She looked at him and managed a small smile back, then sighed, her brow knitting as she thought. "We'll get you a job at Torchwood when we get home, yeah? Give you something to do. Or maybe you'd want to do some travelling?"

He shook his head wordlessly. Travelling… without TARDIS… and he felt a pang of sadness. He fingered the small coral he had in his pocket, given to him by the Doctor and Donna before the rift closed, the tiny spark of what remained of his old companion. His only relief was that the rest of the TARDIS was just fine without him, because she still had him. But he remembered her well and all they had been through and felt the pain of loss and separation.

Rose must have seen that on his face because she gave his hand a small squeeze back. "We can do what you'd like," she said kindly.

He shook his head. "I'd like to do whatever you want to do, Rose," he said, a strange honesty to his voice. It was true. He lived for her now, totally and completely.

She must have realized that and the thought seemed to make her uncomfortable. She looked away. "Yeah," she said. "We'll figure something out."

.

Houses, he hadn't needed one of those, well ever actually. Or a bed, save for his rooms on the TARDIS. When he visited he always went to bed of course, to make his human hosts feel comfortable. But the Doctor didn't sleep very much, and would often wander off into the night once his human hosts were asleep themselves.

This body wasn't the same by far. This body protested when he tried to stay awake, to roam the gardens around the house and go walking up and down the streets of London. He was actually somewhat insulted when his human body finally shut down and forced him to sleep, on the couch in the front room of Rose's house no less.

He awoke a day later to discover he had been covered in a blanket and a pillow had been left by his head. He guessed that had been done by Jackie.

He was also beyond hungry. Pain welled up from his stomach and he winced as he wandered towards the kitchen. Of course he ate as a Timelord, and had tea often, but it wasn't nearly as important as food was to humans. He could go a couple days without food and live off of Timelord energy. Now it seemed to be the only thing that occupied his thoughts.

Jackie greeted him cheerfully in the kitchen. "Sleep well?" she asked as she busied herself over preparing breakfast.

He yawned and nodded, scratching his head vaguely. "Ah yeah, sleep! You know I always liked sleep before, when I was a Timelord… nice thing sleep. You know."

Jackie looked at him, then turned back to the stove. "I don't know why you didn't use the guest room. We have two of them you know… well actually three. Maybe four? This house is so big I can hardly keep track. You could have slept in any one of them," she scolded gently as she continued to bustle about the kitchen. She herded him over to the table and stacked a healthy potion of eggs and ham in front of him. He nodded again in thanks as she sat down beside him. He winced inwardly, expecting to have to deal with Jackie's endless prattle but a young child's cry interrupted him. "Oh dear. Excuse me!" Jackie said as she went off to deal with the newest addition to Rose's family.

He'd have to thank the boy later.

.

Rose had already left for work, he discovered, and felt a small pang at that. Of course. In this universe she still had her life, and her job, and he was unable to provide for her what he would have been able to before… adventure and travel. Now the honeymoon was over, he thought, a bit bitterly despite himself. It wasn't that she rejected him, not really, but he could see the tell tale signs of human fear. They were a fickle lot, humans, and devotion and dedication could change on a dime. Especially when circumstances had changed as much as this.

No matter.

He wandered the house until he found Jackie again and asked her politely if it was possible for him to borrow money for clothes. She gave him an appalled look and then fluttered around with embarrassment, sending him off quickly with enough money to buy an entire store and an offer of taking one of the staff with him. He accepted the money and declined the staff… about three times, before he was released into the city again.

This was new for him too. He never really had a need for money, and with the Tardis he could make enough of it when he wanted it. His sudden feeling of indebtedness disturbed him. He quickly decided, once he had returned to Rose's home with several smashingly handsome suits and a couple articles of sleepwear, that he would work off what he owed Jackie and Peter just as soon as he could.

Which meant getting a job. Being a human was quickly becoming mundane.

He considered everything, as much as he could at least, and came up woefully short. Rose had suggested Torchwood and that would have been an option… if he wasn't so suspicious of it.

Peter suggested he take the time to do whatever he liked, and even told him he had unlimited resources if he wanted to do pretty much anything. After all it was the least the Tylers could do for the man who helped stop the Cybermen crisis.

He only held on for a few days sadly, then finally agreed that Rose was right. At very least, Rose had said during dinner on his second day here, that Torchwood would like to keep him on call for anything to do with aliens. He was, frankly, he was told, the world's most valuable asset at the moment. Even as a human, he'd be able to help them when the occasional intergalactic visit turned into something much more invasive. He was a bit tired of that, though Pete did mention that ever since the Cybermen issue they had not had another invasion. Which was a relief. A phenomenally large one.

.

Rose came home later that evening in time for dinner, which he joined. He was quiet during it, choosing to observe instead of talk. Rose seemed to talk almost too much, about work and how they were currently working on a small hyperdrive… one they could use to explore the solar system and eventually Alpha Proxima and beyond. What was special about it, she said proudly, was that it wasn't based on alien technology at all. No, this one was totally and completely 100% human. She beamed at that, and he smiled back, proud of her, and all humans for that matter.

It wasn't so far out of sync with the timeline either, based on his travels. Maybe thirty years or so… nothing much at all.

… not that he could really do much to prevent timeline damage now anyway, his mind reminded him. He frowned at that and looked away, and spent much of the rest of the dinner looking out the window, trapped in his thoughts.

Near the end of dinner a gentle kick under the table distracted him back to the present. Rose was giving him a concerned look, and even the ever busy Peter looked concerned as he dabbed his mouth with a napkin. "You okay there?" Rose asked.

He grinned back at her. "Never better!" When she didn't look all to convinced, he got up from his seat. "Look at this place," he said, gesturing to the window. "This world!" he clasped his hands together with delight. "So much to see, so much to do! We'll go exploring, see the pyramids of Egypt, climb the Himalayas, bushwhack in Australia, oi that'd be a riot!" Rose was smiling now, and shaking her head a bit, his enthusiasm making her chuckle. His heart soared even as he flopped back down in his chair. He took a big spoonful of the mashed potatoes that Jackie had thankfully not prepared, and smiled. "This," he said, gesturing to his plate. "This is amazing. What is it?" his eyes twinkled as he feigned innocence.

Jackie laughed at that and teased him gently, and thankfully the conversation turned to something else. Strangely enough it was Peter who continued to give him a concerned look as Rose and her mother went off on some tangent about what clothes people wore in Australia. The Doctor held his gaze calmly, and then gave his head a small shake. Just a touch. Peter seemed to understand and looked away again.

.

It was later that evening and the Doctor sat out in the garden. He had sat out here every day since he had come, lost in thoughts as he looked out over the stars.

Tonight he was joined by Peter. He heard and recognized his footfalls and didn't even have to turn to know it was the successful entrepreneur.

He did nod at him as Peter sat down beside him, gazing out over the stars as well. They sat in amicable silence for a bit.

"You know, I never did thank you," Peter said finally after enough time had past.

The Doctor gave him a sidelong glance. Peter looked at him for a moment, continued to look at the sky, his voice faraway. "For my family," he added.

The Doctor smiled. "You're welcome," he replied.

"I know," Peter continued after a pause. "I know they're not mine. Not really," he had the Doctor's full attention now, he looked concerned.

Peter smiled a bit. "But I still wouldn't trade them for anything. You know," and he looked at the Doctor again. "She may not be mine, directly, but she feels like she's mine. She's family. My family." he nodded. "I know this was hard for you Doctor. I can't possibly imagine what it's like for you. I remember how hard it was for me when they took Jackie from me, how that felt," he paused, then continued. "To be cut off from nine hundred years of life, in a blink of an eye…" he shook his head. "You sacrificed much to be here Doctor."

"Ah well," the Doctor said nonchalantly. "It wasn't that big of a deal. The TARDIS was a bit crowded with another me in it anyway."

"It was a big deal," Peter said gently, and the Doctor turned to look at him. "You know it just as well as I do. And, Doctor, you're not very good at hiding how you feel about things."

The Doctor looked at him for a moment, and then looked away again with a small smile.

"She'll come around," Peter said. When the Doctor looked back up at him again, surprised, Peter continued. "Give her a bit of time. She doesn't mean to hurt you."

"I know that," the Doctor said quickly. "It's okay. Rose is her own person, she can do what she wants," he added.

Peter reached out and put a hand on his shoulder. "What she wants is you. But she needs time to adjust. Just... hang in there okay?" Peter withdrew his hand.

The Doctor gave him a slightly mournful look, but nodded. "I'm not going anywhere." he agreed. And it was true. Where would he go anyway?

Peter got up again, putting his hands in his pockets. He went to turn away, and then turned back again. "And Doctor," he said. When the Doctor looked back at him, Peter continued. "If you ever need anything... and I do mean anything at all... if it exists in this world, it's yours."

The Doctor gave him a slightly baffled look, then nodded. "Thank you," he replied.

.

That night he dreamt of the Master and bathing in the blood of fallen Timelords.

He woke up before Rose, and pulled on one of his new suits with a smile on his face. He met her at the bottom of the stairs, perky and happy, his acting talents developed over his 900 years of life in full gear. He grinned at her and she gave him a quick hug before ducking by him to get something to eat from the kitchen. He followed her, a smile still on his face.

"You coming to work today?" Rose said finally, picking up on why he was there smiling at her. She still wasn't completely with him, he observed. The way her eyes ducked away and how she wouldn't hold his gaze for any amount of time gave her away. He pretended he didn't notice.

He nodded. "Ripe and ready," he said, throwing out his hands to show off his suit.

She grinned and took another sip of her coffee. "I'll drive you in. Torchwood is different here, you'll see. You'll love it."

He wasn't so sure of that, but he kindly kept his opinion to himself. Heck, anything Rose was involved in couldn't be that bad, could it? And even if it was, he was fairly sure - no he knew - he had worked for worse organizations in the past.

.

His name came about at dinner time about a week later.

He decided to just go by The Doctor at work, which was his name. His other name, hidden for centuries, didn't suit his life now… especially not now that he was only half a Timelord.

"You really do need a name at work though," Rose said, almost apologetically as she looked up from her food. Payroll had had that argument with her earlier that day. Now that he worked for the company he needed a human name.

The Doctor made a face. "What's wrong with the Doctor?" he asked, sounding a bit hurt. "I still am the Doctor." He tapped his forehead. "Everything is still up here."

"Oh I know that," Rose said quickly. She looked embarrassed. "It's just that, well you're one of us now, yeah?" she looked extremely uncomfortable.

Jackie cut in. "Yeah. Bout time you had a proper name. What about James?"

"James?" The Doctor replied. "That's about as good as John."

"You've used John before," Rose pointed out.

"Well yeah but," the Doctor made a face. "That was so people would stop asking me what my name was."

Rose looked mildly surprised at that. He had used the name John a lot in their travels. It made sense though. The ultimate anonymous name, but definitely not a name one would want to keep as an actual human.

"I've been the Doctor for over 900 years." The Doctor pointed out. "Through ten different bodies…"

"Ten!" Jackie exclaimed. "Ten different times?"

"You've seen two of them," The Doctor replied, sounding surprised himself now. "You do know that wasn't the first time I regenerated, don't you?"

"Well yeah, but," Jackie made a face. Peter for his part was watching the conversation with interest and little Tony was playing with his mashed potatoes. "You never said you've gone through ten different bodies. Don't you wear down at all, ever?"

The Doctor gave her a small smile. "Now I will," he said with complete honesty. "Body number ten for the rest of my life. Well, ten point five if you count the fact that I grew out of an aborted regeneration."

Jackie looked sympathetic for a moment but then her expression changed. "That's it," Jackie exclaimed with a surprised look on her face. "Ten," she added.

"Mum!" Rose protested.

"Whut?" Jackie replied. "I saw a TV show once where a woman was named Seven. Or was it Six? Something like that."

"You can't call him a number!" Rose protested. "He's the Doctor."

"Oh pish posh," Jackie replied. "Ten is a good number."

The Doctor just looked confused now as he looked from one to the other with his mouth open. He was going to interject but Jackie and Rose spoke far too quickly for him to get a word in edgewise.

"Well you can always be John Smith, I guess, if you want," Jackie said with an eye roll. "Just the most common name ever. But I think Ten works just fine. He's the tenth of something after all," she looked back at the Doctor. "Whatever you are. Where." She considered. "How about Tenney? Tennessee? Tennant? Tent?"

"Tent?" The Doctor repeated incredulously.

"Okay maybe not Tent," Jackie back-peddled.

"Ten-inch," Rose said in a low voice and a smirk, nudging him with her foot under the table.

The Doctor gave Rose a confused look, which quickly turned to surprise as it dawned on him what Rose was implying. He quickly made up for it by turning back to Jackie and giving her a smile despite his embarrassment. "I'll consider… them," he said politely, ignoring Rose's continued foot nudges.

"Well, if you ever need a last name," Peter spoke up. "Feel free to take ours. You're part of the family now."

The Doctor smiled wider, genuinely pleased. "Thank you," he said. "It would be an honor."

… Everyone still called him the Doctor though, both at work and at home. Old habits die hard.

.

She thought of their time together often. It had been a year. Nearly two. It had felt so long when she was with him, but now she realized how very short it was. And… no wonder she had fallen in love with him. She had given him the two most important years of her life. She should have been settling down. Looking at schools, getting a career. Perhaps even off finding the man of her dreams so she could have a proper family.

But she did find the man of her dreams didn't she? A man from the stars… one didn't get any more dreamy than that. And she had watched him change, go from a hard man, excitable but ruthless, to the man she knew now and loved with all her heart. He had let her in, shown her bits and pieces of himself she was sure he never showed anyone else. He had changed her… or maybe he didn't change her enough.

Now… now she was here with a broken bit of him. A man who looked like and longed for just the same as him… a man who was breaking inside, his copied memories tormenting him with the thoughts of their time together and what he had lost. His home, his people, his beloved ship, and now his immortality. She could see it on his face, the deep aching pain as he gazed out of the window of her adopted dad's home. Coming to terms she supposed, but how was one to push aside so many thoughts and regrets and compress nine hundred years of experience to one single remaining lifetime?

But then… what had she expected really, and now she felt bitter. He said he couldn't stand to see them, humans, decay in front of him so he left them to avoid the pain. She remembered Sara, and the dismayed look on her face when she realized why she had been abandoned when she loved the Doctor so. How could she have expected anything less? She wanted to be with him forever, travel with him forever, and bollocks to a normal life. But he wouldn't have allowed that would have he? Just like the others, in ten, maybe twenty years he would have dropped her off again on earth with nothing but the memories and time to remember what they had together. Maybe, if she was really lucky, he would have kept her into her old age before letting her go. But would have he? Really? Could he have withstood the pain of watching her grow frail and fragile and no longer able to keep up with him, staying at "home" in the TARDIS fretting over whether he'd come back again as he went off on his elaborate adventures.

The Doctor was a coward.

This Doctor however…

He was aging too. She hadn't noticed it before back when they were together, traveling, he had always seemed so alive, vibrant. Yet now here he was, cut off from his eternal youth, trapped and left to decay just as fast as she, his life reduced even more from the fact that his human host Donna was already in her 30s when the Doctor changed.

Suddenly she felt very small and very, very alone. She blinked back tears and managed a small smile before striding forwards. He glanced at her, for a moment, then looked back at the window without smiling back. She sighed and slipped her hand into his, gazing out over the yard and the city and put her head against his arm.

.


	2. Mending

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**Mending**

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He had converted one of the rooms into his own bedroom, as per Jackie's request. It was Spartan, nothing he had encountered here was important to him yet to place anywhere. He had placed the TARDIS coral in a place of honor on his dresser, it would be months before it would be grown enough to move elsewhere.

She slipped into his room that night, and he awoke with a start as she crawled under the covers next to him. He relaxed instantly, though the expression on his face was still questioning.

"Can I sleep with you tonight?" she asked with a small smile. "Just to sleep," she added. She knew the impossibility of sleeping without sex with a man, but she and the Doctor had never done more than kiss, so she doubted his human version would be much different. Sure enough he nodded with a small smile and shifted over.

She had done this before of course, they had gone to planets often enough where the friendly alien hosts would only give them one room. The first time had been with the first Doctor she met, and yes that had been awkward. But that Doctor, the first one she fell in love with… he had been prickly to begin with. Sleeping beside him had been a chore, especially since the Doctor was prone to reawakening her with exclamations of things he had figured out while lying there. She finally had to tiredly hit him on the head with a pillow before he would get the hint. And cuddling with a leather jacket was difficult, not to mention the strange looks he gave her the first couple times she tried. Oh, the teasing and encouragement it took just to get him to give her an arm to lie against.

The second Doctor, her beloved, had been much different, at least when it came to bed manners. She could still see the shining enthusiasm in his eyes while she lay beside him. That enthusiasm wasn't for her… she knew his mind was a million miles away. But he would hush and keep quiet about his thoughts, at least until morning. Also this Doctor was far more into the cuddling thing. Especially near the end… near the end when they were separated.

As she lay next to him, curled against his side as he lay on his back she again reflected on the difference between this Doctor and hers. Except… physically there weren't that much different were they? He gave her an enduring look as she looked up at him and he kept gently stroking her shoulder with the arm that was around her. He felt the same and even smelled the same, which was totally not fair. His eyes were here though… totally and completely with her and in the present. No longer did the million miles away look reflect back at her.

But if she closed her eyes and pretended hard enough, she could even see that he was her Doctor. It was so very easy to pretend.

.

It was a dream, just a dream, but it seemed so real. They were under attack, she had lost her gun, the spray of shrapnel around her was disorientating. She couldn't see anything and then something hit her, knocking her to the side. She went down hard, coughing, turning just in time to see…

"No!" She screamed as the bullets ripped through the Doctor's chest. He went down with a shout of pain, the attack meant for her tearing through him. She cried out and scrambled to him, holding his head up as he gasped for air and struggled to breathe. "You're human," she screamed at him. "You're human, you shouldn't have done that! You'll die!"

He smiled, small and reached up to her, placing a cool hand on her cheek. "Doesn't matter," he said through clenched teeth. "As long as you're okay."

"I'm not okay!" she shouted back and sudden overwhelming fear took her. This was not her Doctor, but to lose him would be unthinkable. He meant more to her than she had thought. He was all she had left of her Doctor and she wasn't going to let him go.

Dream Mickey ran towards them as she screamed for help. Her dream didn't even consider the fact that Mickey wasn't in this universe anymore.

"He can't regenerate!" she cried at him as he reached them.

Mickey practically pushed her aside. "We'll get him to Touchwood, yeah?" he said. "If anyone can save him they can."

She watched numbly as they loaded him onto a stretcher, her hands clasped over her mouth. Her mum reached her and she fell against her, sobbing. "The Doctor," she said and caught herself quickly. "John," she didn't know why she called him John, but it made sense. He used the name often enough in their travels. "He saved my life… and now he's going to die, because of me…"

Jackie held onto her and buried her face in her daughters hair. "Shh," she coaxed. "It'll be okay. They'll figure out a way to help him." It was more wishful thinking than truth, her daughter was covered in blood.

"But he's all I have of him," she cried and Jackie held her closer.

"I know sweetie," she said sadly. "I know."

.

She awoke with a start, breathing hard and he woke up as well, sitting up and giving her a concerned look. "Rose?" he questioned into the darkness of the bedroom. "What is it?"

Relief flooded her and at the same time she fell against him, shaking. "N-nothing," she replied. "Just a bad dream."

He held her close and with concern, stroking her hair. "Do you want to talk about it?" he asked finally and she shook her head vigorously.

Despite herself she nestled her head against his chest and listened carefully to the sound of his only heartbeat. For some reason the single beat sent chills down her spine and she pulled away again, looking up at him. The expression of concern on his face grew as Rose leaned up and kissed him gently on the cheek before getting out of bed.

"Rose?" he questioned.

All she could do was shake her head again, her dream still raw in her mind. "See you tomorrow, yeah?" she said. He looked like he wanted to protest and confusion was evident on his face. Still he nodded. It was all he could do. She offered him a small smile and left the room.

As soon as she reached her own room she leaned against the wall, her eyes tightly shut. No. No, she wasn't going to do this. HE wasn't him. He couldn't die. Not as easily at least. The Doctor she had been left with… he was fragile. Too fragile. And if her dream came true… she was just going to get her heart broken again. She sunk to her knees, hands held over her face. She cried, silently, so silently she was sure it wouldn't attract attention. That was why it startled her when a hand fell on her shoulder.

She let out a little scream and jerked away, looking up at him. He startled too, just a bit, before going back to looking at her with deep concern in his eyes. "Rose…" he began.

"I'm okay, really," she said, wiping her eyes quickly. She tried to smile away the tears as she looked back up at him.

Deep sadness gazed back at her. "You're not," he said quietly. "It's me isn't it? Him," he corrected. "Him, me… the other me," he let out a frustrated sigh and sat down beside her. "Rose, I am him. Don't you see? I remember…" his voice caught and he reached out, taking a lock of her hair in his hand and twinning it around his fingers. "I remember when you came back, with the heart of the TARDIS inside of you. I loved you then. You were the most beautiful thing in the universe," a lone tear broke away and slipped down his cheek. "You said it burned and I wanted save you. Right then that's all I cared about. That's all I could care about. I forgot about vengeance, I forgot about all of it. That time we were together…" he trailed off.

She reached out slowly, then deliberately, placing her hand against his one heart. He glanced down at her hand and then back at her. Understanding flooded his eyes. "It's that isn't it?"

She nodded.

He shut his eyes, then slowly opened them again, his jaw tightening at the same time. "I promise you Rose," he shifted closer to her, his words tight and clipped and determined. "I promise you that as long as I live, I will not leave you," he stared into her eyes. "And I don't intend to die any time soon." he said with more determination.

She let out a little laugh. "Again?" she said. It would be so easy to believe him.

The determined look grew. "EVER," he said.

She searched his face but found nothing but the truth. He truly believed that, no matter what her dreams said. No matter what his mortal body said either.

Slowly she gave up, leaned forward and pressed her head against his shoulder. "Promise me again," she said.

He reached up, pressing his hand against her hair, drawing her closer. "Rose. I promise."

She kissed him then, like she had on the beach, hard and thorough. He kissed her back but she could tell he was restraining himself. Still hesitant. She controlled this relationship… not the Doctor. But then, she realized, he probably never did. He wanted to be with her, yeah, but to get physical confirmation… she never did find that out did she? He was always distant, quick to give her a fond look like one would give… she didn't know, a puppy or something of the like. Definitely not what she wanted, really wanted, physical… _sexual _contact.

There had to be a way to change this. This was still the Doctor, and he still remembered everything. Frowning she got to her feet, then peered down at him where he remained on the floor. "Well?" she demanded to know. "What're you still doing down there?"

His eyebrows shot up and he got to his feet quickly with a grin. She grinned back and took his hand, dragging him towards her bed. "Let's see what you've got Mr. John Smith. Or is it Ten now?"

He made a face at her, stumbling a bit as she pulled him forwards. "Can't I just be the Doctor? I've been the Doctor for so long…" a faraway look developed on his face. "And 'John Smith' reminds me of…" he trailed off and shook his head slightly.

She sat down on the edge of the bed. There was a sadness on his face she hadn't expected to see. "Of what?" she asked.

He shook his head and sat down next to her, looking embarrassed. "Nothing. It doesn't matter Rose," he took her hand. "I'm with you now, that's what matters."

She gave him a strange look and took her hand away from his. "With me _now_?" she repeated. "What do you mean by… what does the name 'John Smith' remind you of?" she asked suspiciously. When he didn't reply, her eyebrows raised. "Oi. Does it have to do with that Martha Jones girl?"

He looked surprised. "She was travelling with me at the time yes… but it's not what you think."

Rose looked taken aback. She looked at him, then at the wall, then back at him again. "I mean…" she took a deep breath. "I know you've been with other girls… other people, what with being nine hundred years old and all… but I…" she trailed off. "I just didn't expect anyone that recently is all. Weren't you with her last year?"

He let out a long low sigh and got to his feet. Rose watched him pace around the room for a few moments, then slowly shook her head. She couldn't believe this. But then, what did she expect? It's not like he expected to see her again. Still, it stung to know she may have been replaced so quickly.

"Rose," he came to the bed and knelt beside it. "It wasn't Martha. And I want you to know there wasn't anyone else for me, there was only ever you. But you were gone and I had forgotten… I forgot who I was. For a bit. Just for a time. I didn't know anything about my life as a Timelord."

Now she was curious and the earnest look on his face convinced her that what he said was true and from the heart. She looked at him with wide eyes. "What happened?" she asked. "How do you just forget who you are?"

He smiled slightly, which didn't reach his eyes. "I was hiding," he replied. He sat back down next to her on the bed. "I took all my memories and stuck them in a pocket watch," he made a hand motion as if he was holding a pocket watch. "All I knew for two months was that I was a human named John Smith. I had grown up in London. Went to school. Was a teacher… a professor. Every day I'd wake up with these dreams about a blue box and blood and destruction and a beautiful girl with blond hair whose name was Rose," he smiled at her fondly. "And I told myself they were just dreams. I wrote them down and one day I met this woman." he trailed off. "She was a nurse. Kind, and down to earth, loving, and to me, beautiful. And then…" he looked down at his hands where they trembled in his lap. "It all changed. I got my memories back… and she found out who I was. Bad things happened… people died. I tried to save them but I…" he trailed off again. "She turned me away. Expected I suppose, really. I had just been responsible for the deaths of several of her friends. But I…"

Rose reached out and put her hand on his arm despite herself. It was all she could do. She hated to see the Doctor in pain.

His hands clenched into fists. "I wanted nothing more than to have a normal life. Don't you see Rose? For one single tiny moment I could have been human. Forever. Lived a long life. Had children again because I was completely human, I could have had a wife, grown old and happy and finally, finally not alone…"

When he looked up again she had tears running down her face. He hadn't meant to make that happen. It crushed him and at the same time it was what made him love her in the first place. How beautiful she was, inside and out. "Oh Rose," he muttered, reaching out and touching one of the tears away. "I'm so sorry."

"Don't," she replied and reached out herself, folding her arms around his shoulders, hanging on as she kissed him, deeply and fully. He started a bit then kissed her back, letting her take the lead as she pressed him back against the covers of her bed. She climbed on top of him and he let her, only bringing his hands up to catch her… stabilize her as she moved from his mouth to his neck. He gulped as she moved against him, very much hinting at... and oh there went her hand up his shirt…

Oh god. He was nervous. He had nine hundred years of experience, had bedded Timelords, half a dozen humans, and the occasional tentacle alien before, but he had never been this nervous. But then he realized why. This was an important part of his life. This life… his last life. If he messed this up…

She pulled away to look down at him with a pensive look on her face and he tried to smile back and probably failed. He did manage a small chuckle that sounded entirely too high pitched.

Understanding flooded her face. "You're NERVOUS," she exclaimed as she sat back.

"I am not!" he returned indignantly, lying to cover himself.

She grinned widely. "You ARE," she laughed and removed her hand from her shirt. Then she grasped his lapels and rolled so he was half on top of her. Giggling she took one of his hands and placed it on her hip, then wrapped her arms around his shoulders again. "You're a Doctor, Doctor," she purred, and he raised an eyebrow at that. "You know what to do." And with that she pulled him down so she could kiss him again.

.

An hour later found him laying back on her bed, a sheet wrapped around his narrow hips and a very contented, very naked Rose lying half on top of him. He was willing his only heart to kindly slow down a bit so that he didn't have to worry about it giving out quite so soon in his epic adventure at being a human… and that seemed to amuse her. She giggled and cuddled closer.

"You were amazing," she said.

He raised an eyebrow at her before looking back at the ceiling. "Glad that nine hundred years of knowledge could be of some use," and she laughed.

Too tell all truth, some of the physical bits had been unexpected for him… the intensity and work involved with the orgasm bit for example. Half of Timelord sex was in the head, which he obviously didn't have access to, anymore... and couldn't with a human anyway. Well, maybe with Donna... because of the Metacrisis… but why was he thinking of Donna after having mindblowing sex with Rose anyway?

And then it occurred to him. He sat up abruptly. "Donna!" he exclaimed.

Rose sat up as well. "Donna?" she repeated as she pulled the sheet up to her chest. She frowned. "What about her?" She got a particular look on her face. "And why do you keep on thinking about other women?"

"No… it's not her… it's her mind! Gah! I'm so stupid!" he slapped his forehead, fist clenching. "There is no way her mind," he turned haunted eyes towards Rose as he waved his hand towards his head. "There has never been a human/timelord Metacrisis before. There is no way her mind can take that. She'll burn up. I've killed her. I've killed my best…"

Rose had sat up as well and took hold of his arm, concerned for him now. "You're with her, remember?" she reminded him. "You'll think of something to save her. You always do. What would you do in that situation?"

The Doctor blinked. "I would… Oh. Ohhhh…"

Rose gave him and expectant look. He shook his head at her. "I'd have to wipe her memories. There's no other way. She'd forget I even existed…"

He looked so sad. "I'm sorry," Rose said.

He was silent for a long moment. Then "No matter," he grinned winningly, even though it didn't reach his eyes, and flopped back on the bed, taking her with him. He nuzzled her cheek and continued to smile, then reached up and threaded his fingers through her golden hair. "Rose," he said happily. "My Rose."

She smiled back and kissed him and hoped to hell he was done thinking about other things, at least for the night.

.

He half expected things to be awkward the next morning, with more of the looking away and avoiding but she seemed fine, practically glowing as she walked around and got dressed. He watched her as he sat in bed, small happy smile on his face. She looked up from where she was putting her earrings back on. "You going to use the shower before work?" she asked.

He processed that for a couple seconds, his mind amazingly not running a mile a minute for once. "Right!" he replied with sudden gusto. He leapt out of bed, naked of course, and nearly left the room before stopping and turning back to grab his night clothes. "Wouldn't want to run into anyone," he said with a boyish grin as he hopped on one foot while dressing himself. She laughed at him before waving him off.

.

.

.

A/N: You get to meet Donna next chapter, I promise. XD


	3. Donna Noble

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**Donna Noble **

.

Rose went hunting.

It took little time at all to locate Donna, and thankfully she hadn't been among those killed when the Cybermen took over years ago. She was working, quite expectedly, as a temp in Chiswick.

Rose didn't bother with any sort of round about way of doing this. Instead she walked right into the office where Donna worked and walked up to her desk.

Donna put down the phone and gave the young woman in front of her a surprised look. "Can I help you?" she asked.

Rose smiled. "Donna Noble?" she asked, even though she knew perfectly well this was Donna Noble.

Donna nodded. "Yeah, that's me," she replied. "What about it?"

Rose smiled wider. "Donna," she offered her hand. Donna took it, looking even more surprised. "I've heard you are the best temp in all of London."

Donna's shock wore off a bit. "Well, I am good," she said, looking around the office to see if anyone had caught the praise.

Rose smiled wider. "I'd like to offer you a job."

The surprised look returned. "Me?" she replied. "A job? Now?" She sounded surprised, but it may have been because of Rose's forthrightedness.

Rose nodded and grinned. "And I can promise you it'll pay a lot more than here."

Donna managed to get her jaw back up. "Well, uh," she started to rearrange her desk quickly. "I mean," she stood up quickly. "Let's nip out for a quick bite, would you say?"

"That would be splendid," Rose replied.

.

As soon as they were seated at the small corner coffee shop Donna started in on her. "Okay, what's the catch?" she asked.

Rose shook her head. "No catch at all. I want someone who is good with numbers, typing, and catching little details. I've heard that you are excellent at all of those. In fact I hear you come highly recommended." Rose learned forwards. "I think you'd be an excellent match to our company."

Donna eyed her, still suspicious. "What is your company?" she asked.

Rose sat back again. "Oh," she replied. "Nothing too important. We study alien activity and the paranormal. Threats to national security. Stuff like that."

"So a government job?" Donna said. Then her eyes narrowed again. "Wait, It's not doing anything dangerous is it? Like dealing with those robot creatures a few years back? I lost my dad to those things thank you very much, I don't much want to be next."

"No, no," Rose said, waving her hands. "I mean, for me it's dangerous, but you wouldn't be anywhere near the front lines. We need you in the main office. It's perfectly safe in the office."

Donna still didn't seem entirely convinced as she pushed back her chair. "I don't know, I'll have to consider…"

"Would something somewhere around a hundred thousand quid a year sound good for you?" Rose asked innocently.

Donna sat right back down again. "You're... completely mad," she said, her eyes wide.

Rose shook her head, smiling. "I'm perfectly serious. National security is very important."

"Yes," Donna replied still sounding a bit incredulous. "Yes, I suppose it is, that."

"So what do you say…"

"Yes!" Donna said again. "Yes, yes, I'll take it. I'm there. I'm your girl. When do I start?"

.

And that was how Donna Noble happened to be sitting at a desk in the main office when the Doctor walked into work the next morning.

The Doctor nearly fell over when he saw her. "Donna?" he squeaked.

She looked up from where she was organizing her new desk. "I'm sorry," she said. "Do I know you?"

Of course. The Doctor nearly slapped his forehead. Of course she wouldn't know who he was. This was obviously _this_ universe's Donna. But how did she end up here? The answer came as fast as he thought it. Rose. Rose had gone out and hired Donna. Hahaha, good old Rose.

"No," The Doctor replied out loud. "You're the new hire, aren't you? I, uh, heard all about you! I'm… I'm the D- no wait. I'm Ten," he said and stepped towards Donna, holding out his hand.

Donna looked both embarrassed and proud at the same time. "You heard- well I mean, I know I'm good," she said as she took his hand, flushing a bit. "But I'm not that important. Just a secretary."

The Doctor grinned and shook her hand eagerly. "Oh," he replied. "You are so much more than just a secretary. You saved my life..." he spoke without thinking.

"Yes… well, alright then," Donna reclaimed her hand and gave the Doctor a look.

"I mean, we _really_ need the help around here," he covered quickly.

"Oh! Right," Donna laughed, the sound a bit strained and awkward. "Well that's me! Super temp," she made typing motions with her hands. "One hundred words a minute." She paused and thought as she eyed the Doctor, something occurring to her. "Pardon me, but did you say your name was Ten?"

It was the first time the Doctor had used the nickname himself. "Er, yes," he replied.

"Ten of what?" Donna asked.

"Ten of nothing," The Doctor replied. "Just Ten. Well, Doctor Ten to be exact."

"So you're a Doctor," Donna said, looking skeptical.

"No, I'm-" he was interrupted before he could finish.

"Doctor," It was Rose's voice and he looked up across the front office. She was standing near the back hall and came walking towards him. "Are you frightening the new hire?" She reached the Doctor and put her arm around him, smiling at Donna. "You'll have to excuse _Ten_," she stressed his nickname and smirked, obviously having overheard that part of the conversation. "He tends to be a little bit excitable."

Donna shrugged and tossed her hair over her shoulder. "Part of the new office experience I expect," she said. "And anyway, you deal with _aliens_," she put emphasis on the word and made claw-y hand gestures. "I'm sure it's bound to make you all a bit mad after a while."

"Tell me about it," Rose replied with a laugh giving the Doctor a meaningful look.

"Oi!" the Doctor protested, sounding just like Donna.

Donna didn't seem to notice how exactly like her the protest from the Doctor sounded. Instead she looked from Rose to Ten and then back, confused look on her face again.

"Anyway," Rose said with another smile. "Roy will fill you in on your duties," she made a hand motion to one of the other office workers, who looked up at the sound of his name. Rose nodded at him with a smile. "Let me know if you need anything, yeah? My office is down the hall," with that she began to forcibly drag the Doctor away from Donna.

Once they were in her office, both of them, with the door shut, Rose leaned up and kissed him soundly on the lips.

"What was that for?" the Doctor stammered.

Rose smiled. "For being you. The most amazing alien I know."

"Half alien," the Doctor corrected. "Actually, technically… if you want to get technical about it of course, that woman out there is half of me. Or the other version of her is, you know back in your… our universe."

"Let's keep this little bit of information to ourselves, hmm?" Rose said. "I don't want to scare her off quite yet."

"Eh," the Doctor replied. "It's Donna. She can handle it," he replied, looking totally unconcerned, and Rose laughed. She had to agree with him there, having watched Donna for months as the world crumbled before she was able to fix it. Donna suffered from low self esteem, yelled a lot, and tended to speak before thinking, but if there was one thing she wasn't it was a coward. She had seen that woman sacrifice everything, her own life, to save the world. There weren't very many people who could claim the same.

.

The Doctor limited his contact with Donna after that, at least kept their interactions down to a minimum… he didn't want to push it and drive her off completely. Rose didn't seem to mind either way, and even encouraged them to interact. He supposed it was because she had seen their relationship before, in the other universe, and Rose definitely did not seem to mind Donna Noble at all.

It was a few weeks later when it happened. One of the spaceflight projects went wrong, and the mini-reactor went critical. It was only a few minutes away from a breech when Rose made the order to emergency evacuate. She quickly ushered the techs out of that wing of the building as alarms sounded, glancing behind her with concern as she ran behind them. They'd have to seal it off the entire Wing and don radiation suits to disable it… with that much radiation it could harm a human extensively within minutes.

They all emerged in the front office and just as Rose was about to tell them to seal off the wing, she noticed someone was missing. The Doctor saw it at the same time. "Where's Donna?" Rose shouted at Roy.

The other office temp looked shaken and frightened at the sudden influx of people into his area. "The vault," he replied quickly. Rose and the Doctor exchanged wide eyed looks. The vault was practically on the other side of the building. Past the wing they were about to seal off. And if she was inside of the vault there was a chance she hadn't heard the alarms…

"Donna!" the Doctor cried out and dodged for the door.

Rose caught his arm. "You can't," she said quickly. "We've only got minutes, you won't make it there and back again. Human remember?" She turned. "Get out the radiation suits!" she snapped at a tech.

"Already on it!" the tech, Gregory or whatever his name was, replied. They needed the suits anyway to go back in and turn off the reactor… but for now she was worried about getting a suit to Donna in time.

"Roy!" she ordered. "Phone the area, see if she picks up. If she does, tell her to run!"

The Doctor shifted from foot to foot as he stood at the mouth of the hallway to the wing. It was taking entirely too long for the tech to return with suits… time was ticking in his head. In two minutes… less than, Donna'd be in danger if she left the vault before someone could get a suit to her. What if she left before they could reach her and tell her to stay back? Even worse, what if she left when it reached critical and took her time in walking back all the while bathing in radiation? It wouldn't be enough to kill her, not right away at least, but in a week, maybe two…

Then the tech came running back, several suits slung over his shoulders and breathing hard from running. The Doctor quickly started putting on one of the suits without asking anyone. No one protested.

He had it half way on when a panting, wild eyed Donna came running into the room.

"Seal it off!" Rose cried out, at the same time going over to Donna to lead her away from the door.

Donna shrugged off her hand. "You!" she hollered, pointing right at the Doctor. She stalked right over to the Doctor and stood in front of him, glaring up at him. "You spoke. In. my. Head." The door clanged shut behind them, but nothing would distract or deter Donna. "HOW did you speak in my head?"

"In your HEAD?" The Doctor just looked at her, with his jaw hanging open a bit. "You must be imagining things," he fumbled out.

Donna put her hands on her hips. "Nawha," she said. "It was YOUR voice, it was in MY head, and it said my name and 'get out of there right now'. It even FELT like you," she shuddered.

"Donna, look, I have no idea what you're talking about," The Doctor held up his hands in an attempt to pacify her.

The pacifying didn't work. Donna slapped him. The Doctor stumbled back a bit, his hand on his cheek. "What? What was that for?" he complained.

"Stop LYING to me," Donna looked even more than pissed off now. "You're some kind of alien aren't you? Some sort of mind reading alien! GOD, I knew I shouldn't have taken this job," she went to her desk and picked up a pencil, pointing it at everyone, including poor Roy. "You're all nuts and you've been doing experiments on me, haven't you? HAVEN'T YOU? That's why you wanted me to take this job!" She started to gather up her things from her desk. "Well no more alien funny stuff. I quit!" she started to gather her stuff out of her desk. She turned back again, this time with a letter opener. "And you stay out of my head!" She directed that one at the Doctor and went back to packing up her desk.

"Donna," Rose tried, approaching her cautiously, torn between focusing her attention on the mounting crisis and the crisis of Donna. "Even if something like that happened," she gave the bewildered and slightly embarrassed looking Doctor a hard look. "We did need you to get out of there. One of the reactor cores is in the middle of a meltdown. If you had been in that part of the building even a couple minutes longer you would have been hit with more radiation than a human body can handle..."

Donna moved a couple more items angrily around her desk, then paused. She turned to see that the techs had gotten into suits on and were now opening the outer seal set of doors to step inside the wing again. Donna blinked and turned her head to the side, then looked at Rose again, then at the Doctor.

"Then you… you saved my life," she said slowly. "But how…" she made a hand motion to her head again. "What are you, some sort of telepathic alien?" She looked spooked now.

The Doctor shrugged and sighed. There was no point in denying it any longer. "Half alien. And the telepathic thing… well, it's only with you."

The look on Donna's face when from confused and enraged again. "What. The Hell. Is THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN? 'Only with you'?"

The Doctor raised his hands defensively. "It's not meant to hurt you! I didn't even know I could, I swear!"

Rose stepped in between them, well aware that the remaining techs and Roy were staring at them. "Perhaps we should go talk about this elsewhere?" she asked.

"Oh you'd like that wouldn't you?" Donna snapped. "Do an autopsy on me while you're at it."

Rose gave the Doctor a helpless look and he stepped up. "Donna," he said firmly. "Be reasonable. You've been working here for weeks. If we… or any of us wanted to hurt you, we'd have done it far before now. Now, I just saved your life. At least give me a chance to explain myself. Calmly. Rationally," he added meaningfully.

Donna stared at him long and hard, then took a deep breath. Then another. "I swear to God, if you turn me into a metal machine I'll kill you," she warned, but her voice was much steadier now.

The Doctor grinning winningly, turning on all his charm. "I think the Cybermen are long gone," he said. "Its just us friendly aliens. Except, I'm half human. Which is why I'm so good looking by the way." he winked.

Donna snorted, and she definitely looked less tense. Rose smiled and ushered the two of them towards the her office, which was down the opposite way of the labs. She tossed her head back to see how the techs were doing. This was their domain, and likewise knew what to do in this situation. One of them flashed her a thumbs up.

"Update me the moment anything changes," she called back and the lead tech nodded.

"Will do ma'am," was the reply.

Once she had the door to her office closed, Rose sank against it with a sign of relief. Then she gestured for the Doctor and Donna to sit on the chesterfield at the back of the office and sat on a chair herself.

Donna sat, but with her arms folded across her chest.

"You can start if you want," the Doctor said to Rose.

Rose waved her hands. "No, no, you can start," Rose replied.

"You've been in this universe longer," the Doctor said.

"Universe?" Donna interrupted. "Right then. There's the door," she pointed to it and started to get up.

"No wait," Ten said, and continued. "I'll do it. Donna, remember when the metal men happened and turned a lot of people into robots?"

Donna had her arms folded across her chest again. "Hard to forget one of the worst days of my life. My dad got turned into one of those," she added.

"I'm sorry," The Doctor sounded contrite. "Okay, just hear me out on this, because a lot of this is going to sound really strange. Pretend I'm telling you a story. On that day a rip through the fabric of time and space happened and we, this woman here," he gestured to Rose. "I and another person we had with us, we fell through into this universe. But it was a good thing we did, because we were able to stop the Cybermen, those robots, before they upgraded all of London."

"Upgraded all of…" Donna's eyes narrowed. "Oh, is that what they call it? Taking my dad and turning him into a metal man? Upgrading? Why couldn't you have saved him while you were at it?"

The Doctor looked sad. "I'm sorry Donna. So sorry. We tried. But once the process was done…"

Donna took a deep breath. "I got it. Yeah, yeah. Where those creatures from your universe too?" she glared.

The Doctor shook his head. "No. They were from here. They tried to get through to our universe from this one but I was able to stop them. At a price of course."

Donna looked at him warily. "Price? What price?"

Rose raised her hand. "I got stuck here," she said.

"… I see." For a woman that had been freaking out a little bit prior, Donna seemed to be taking this all pretty well.

"And," The Doctor said, pointing with his thumb over his shoulder. "I got stuck there. In the other universe. But that's when I met you."

Donna raised an eyebrow. "You met me… you met ME? But I just met you last month," she paused. "Ohhh, you mean in the different universe?" she made a pointing gesture with her hands to the same place the Doctor had just indicated.

"Oh yes," the Doctor grinned. "And it was a wonderful thing Donna. We were good friends. The best."

Donna leaned away from him a bit, looking more than a bit appalled. "What? Why? Why on earth would I want anything to do with you? I mean look at you. You're nothing… just a skinny little stick of nothing!"

The Doctor blinked at that, and then laughed. "You said that to me before."

"I'm sure I did and I'll definitely say it again if you want," Donna snapped. "Stop looking at me that way," She calmed and looked at them both in turn pensively, curiosity winning over her distaste. "So what happened to this other… me?" she asked.

Ten glanced at Rose and looked back at Donna. "I don't know," Ten admitted.

"You don't… you don't know? How do you not know if we're the 'best of friends'," she put the last bit in finger quotes.

Ten hesitated. "A lot of things happened… and then I came to stay in this universe permanently."

Donna looked from Rose to Ten and back again. She finally pointed at Ten. "If a word you've said is true, you came back because of her, alien boy," she pointed at Rose now. "I see the way you look at her. You two are the most obvious pair I've ever met. And," she changed the subject. "I still don't know why I'd ever hang out with the likes of you." Ten looked hurt for a fleeting moment, then smiled.

Donna threw her hands in the air. "I don't remember any of this anyway. I'm not her, if you're expecting me to be her, you're sorely mistaken."

Rose held up her hands. "No, no, Donna, it's not like that at all. Sure, we, well he mostly, got to know a different you, but we also know you're a different person. You're free to do whatever you want."

"You're damn right I am," Donna said.

"But I do know your potential Donna," the Doctor said with a grin. "And you're brilliant."

Donna actually flushed and looked embarrassed at that. "Well, I guess I am aren't I?" She started to get up. "I don't know what to think, alternate universes, alternate mes." She didn't look too upset about this now however and that gave Rose a spark of hope.

"Will you stay with the company at least?" she asked.

Donna looked from Rose to the Doctor and back again, then walked towards the door. "You're both completely mad," she said firmly. She paused at the door. "But it does pay well," she pointed at Ten. "You, stay out of my head. And both of you," she glared from one to the other. "Stop looking at me like you know me. I may have the same name and look like her, but I'm not HER, and I'd thank you to remember that."

With that she opened the door the rest of the way, then shut it behind herself, hard.

Rose and the Doctor looked at each another. "Well," the Doctor said finally. "That could have gone worse."

Rose frowned. "Do you think it was too much information too fast?" she asked. "I mean I know Donna can handle a lot, but what are the chances she'll just quit?"

The Doctor frowned back, then shrugged. "Ehhh," he said. "It's Donna. I've never seen her back down from a challenge. She'll be back again tomorrow."

.


End file.
